Now that Valentine’s Day is upon us again, here are some thoughts on how to enjoy great relationships.

Once upon a time, there were two married men. One chose to have an affair that lasted for months. His marriage is now in shambles. Meantime, the other man enjoys a happy marriage. He and his wife have three adorable kids.

What made the difference? The first man went with the wrong crowd whose motto is, “Do what pleases you. After all, everyone is doing it.” The second man surrounded himself with wise mentors who are successful in marriage.

This leads us to the first principle: Examine your sources of wisdom. Whom you hang around with and get advice from will spell the difference between a good life and a wasted life.

The second principle is: Choose your relationships wisely. If you are single, be very careful about choosing whom you will marry. Those who are already married soon realize that their spouses play a big factor in their happiness.

Here comes my third principle: The smartest relationship you must choose is the one between you and God. Why? If you have a great relationship with God, you can have great relationships with people, including your boy/girl friend or spouse.

Many people think that God is some Cosmic Killjoy or Distant Father. But David discovered that in God’s presence, there is fullness of joy. In fact, he invites us, “Taste and know that the Lord is good” (Psalm 16:11, 34:8).

Do you realize how liberating this is? It means that you no longer have to expect or even demand that your boy/girl friend or your spouse to make you happy. Rather, you enjoy happiness in God and from there, you can make your special someone happy.

Wait. It gets better. The fourth principle is: choose someone who also makes his or her personal relationship with God a priority.

Many think that a love relationship is a 50%-50% deal. The man gives 50% to make the girl happy, and vice versa. That way, both will be happy 100%.

But inevitably, the man falls short and gives far less than 50%. The girl is disappointed. Fights ensue and the relationship breaks up.

But if the man draws his happiness from God and gives 100% to make the girl happy, and the girl does likewise, the relationship is humming at 200% joy.

Remember: to a have a great relationship with people, each of us must first have a great relationship with God. Then marry someone who also has a great relationship with God. The resulting bliss will be but a foretaste of heaven!

Check out my books about love and marriage, available in Shopee and Lazada

How Do I Know the One?

The Honeymoon Never Ends

How to Mend a Broken Heart

Look for them also at National Book Store, Philippine Christian Book Store, OMF Literature bookstore and the Church Strengthening Ministry bookstore.