If you have watched the movie Inside Out 2, you may have missed a brilliant line.

You’d recall that Anxiety has taken over the control panel of Riley’s emotions. He frantically pushed so many buttons that he drove Riley into a panic attack. Joy stopped Anxiety, who contritely said, “I was just trying to protect her.”

Get it? Instead of seeing anxiety as an enemy, maybe we should see it as a friend. Yes, it can be a somewhat distressing friend. After all, who enjoys a queasy stomach, sweaty palms and that powerful urge to flee?

If we see anxiety as something we need to suppress, deny, crush or avoid, we will keep berating ourselves as hopeless worry warts. At the extreme, we resort to anti-anxiety medication only to suffer serious side effects, which raises even more anxiety!

But anxiety can be a well-meaning friend, nonetheless.

It helps to imagine anxiety as this pesky blinking red light on your dashboard. Without it, you’d be speeding along the highway yet unaware you’re running out of gas or your radiator is overheating. That pesky red light is really out for your best interests.

In much the same way, anxiety wants to protect you from something. You haven’t given it conscious thought, so anxiety is that blinking red light to call your attention.

For example, you’re stricken with fear as you’re about to give a make-or-break business presentation. Perhaps that fear is “protecting” you from the pain of embarrassment (“what if I mess up?”), rejection (“what if the audience doesn’t like me?”) or failure (“what if the decision-maker turns me down?”).

I’ve come up with C.A.L.M. to show how reduce, even remove anxiety.

C is Cease struggling. Imagine your struggle with anxiety as a tug of war. Anxiety is at one end of the rope, trying to pull you into some emotional abyss. Then there’s you on the other side, resisting the pull. This battle of wits and willpower can be tiresome, not to mention endless.

But what if you let go of the rope?

A is Adjust your view of anxiety. I recently learned about acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and in particular, willingness. I’m not a psychotherapist and I just skimmed the surface of ACT, but what I understand is that instead of fighting the anxiety, make peace with it. Remember, anxiety may just be a well-meaning protector.

But protecting you from what?

I will get to the last two components in a future post.

* I’m Coach Nelson. I help people reflect, be self-aware, reframe their thoughts and move towards what is positive and possible. If you’re interested in my coaching services or L&D courses, drop me a line via nelsontdy.com@gmail.com

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As I write this, January 1, 2025 is only 10 hours old. We are brimming with optimism, plans, and cheer.

But what of January 10? Or the rest of the year, for that matter?

Here’s a hack: celebrate each day as if it were New Year’s day!

Yes, you read that correctly. Think about it: each morning is the first of the next 365 days of your life. That makes each day a New Year’s day!

If you were to visit my personal desk, you’d see the calendar (photo) permanently set on January 1st. Psychologically, that triggers me to:

1. Continue the sense of optimism for the rest of the day. For some reason, when the clock strikes 12 at New Year’s Eve, we have this giddy expectation that the future will be better and brighter.

Mr. Spock may question the rationality, but that’s the way we are. We want to believe that the best is yet to come. But why limit that on January 1st? Why not have that can-do mindset even if (when?) the inevitable challenges set in?

2. Connect with family. I heard some celebrities expressing their new year’s resolution of spending more time with family. That’s good, but if it’s just that, don’t be surprised when 2025 ends and we regretted not keeping that promise.

The solution is to “calenderize” it. Take out your planner and plug in dates when you will do just that: visit your folks, have lunch or dinner together, or do on a road trip with siblings and cousins alike. If we enjoyed the holiday due to the family bonding, why not spread out the good vibes until the next Christmas?

3. Create a new life plan. Did I say new year’s resolutions? Each end-year I would map out what I’d like to accomplish in the following year, such as spirituality, self-development, business, relationships and so on. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

So don’t go for resolutions that you solemnly vow on January 1st only to abandon by January 8th. Boil them into aspirational goals, process goals, and outcome goals. Example:

Aspirational goal: get in better shape
Process goal: eat healthier
Outcome goals: include vegetables in at least 15 out of 21 main meals per week (breakfast, lunch, and dinner).

So what are we waiting for? Cheers to your next 365 days!

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