What were the negative self-talk that held you back in 2022?
For example:
- “I am not competent.”
- “I am not disciplined.”
- “I am not mentored.”
I can imagine how sick and tired you are from limiting yourself when all this time, you could have soared as the eagle.
Want to know a three-letter word that would flip all those into possibility language?
It’s the word YET. What if you say:
- “I am not competent yet.”
- “I am not disciplined yet.”
- “I am not mentored yet.”
Feel the difference?
The word YET plants a fresh vision of a better version of yourself.
It also puts you into a mind frame that it is possible. It just hasn’t happened…. yet.
Now the word YET is not some magic wand. Just wave it and you will be an overnight expert or millionaire.
You have to put in the elbow grease, the long hours, the furrowed brow. But the YET turbo-charges the motivation.
So if your mind is already deeply grooved with those negative self-talk, let it play those sad tunes, but then enforce the word YET at every end. In due time, it will heal your perspective and energize your spirit.
Remember: the best is YET to come. Make is so in 2023!
We don’t usually associate Christmas with sacrifice. Christmas is all about family, festivity, and feasting. Loss and pain are utterly alien to the season.
Or so we thought.
When we think of God sacrificing His Son, Jesus, for our sins, we think of Holy Week, a period shrouded in darkness and sorrow. But the sacrifice really began at the first Christmas, an event we celebrate with lights and cheer.
God did not send His Son as a full-grown man helplessly nailed on a cross, at the mercy of Roman soldiers. He sent Jesus as a newborn baby helplessly lying on a trough, at the mercy of human parents.
This was no small sacrifice. Imagine a raging war and a father who didn’t hold back his son from the army. That depth of loss, pain and yes, sacrifice, lies behind what one song called “the most wonderful time of the year”.
But I am not calling for somber introspection during Christmas. I would reserve that for Lent, when we would focus on Calvary. Today, we focus on Bethlehem.
It is a time of gratitude for God’s provision for our salvation. Think of it as a cosmic exchange gift. God gave us His Son. In return, we give Him our faith and allegiance.
In this new life, we enjoy abundant life and eternal life. Our enmity with God has ceased. And in a glorious future, there will be no more tears, no more pain, no more death. THAT would put a thousand Christmases pale by comparison.
All because of a Heavenly Father who didn’t hold back His Son from the world.
All the more: oh come let us adore Him!
#Christmas #sacrifice #Jesus #salvation #Gospel
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I once had a staff whose job was to plan our raw material needs and trigger orders to our suppliers.
Over time, I noticed he was having difficulty making decisions. Should he order this or not? If yes, how much should he order? I felt we were edging towards stocking out on critical raw materials.
So I asked him what’s going on. His replies went something like these:
“Sir, I can order X amount of raw materials based on sales forecast. But it is possible that our customers will buy less from us. Then I will be stuck with excess inventory. ”
“Sir, I don’t want to order too much because it is possible that the inventory will stay in our warehouse for so long that it would be expired when it’s time to use it.”
“Sir, this item is imported and it is possible it will be delayed due to port congestion. I’m having a local source develop an alternative but he is not yet ready with the samples.”
See the pattern? While it is commendable that he thinks of potential problems and contingencies, he was also paralyzed by so many what-ifs.
“Look,” I said, “Everything is possible, but the real question is: is it probable?”
We can’t really predict the future, but one thing I’ve learned is that we can’t live forever on what-ifs. We go by what is likely based on the best available information we have at the time.
That is why some PSDM tools (such as the potential problem analysis part of SAPADAPPA) invites the user to combine “how likely will the event happen?” with “how severe will be the impact if it happens?”
My staff eventually learned the skill of prioritizing his decisions based on what is probable and what is critical. He found the confidence of letting go of relatively far-fetched scenarios.
“Everything is possible. But is it probable?” has saved me from bouts of worry, perfectionism, and analysis paralysis. I do hope this principle will serve you well as it did for me.
#decisionmaking #analysisparalysis #operations #strategy #careercoach
Whoever boasts “I bow to no one” is missing a beautiful experience.
My mother-in-law passed away two weeks ago and in the memorial services, we observed the Chinese tradition of bowing from the waist as a sign of respect.
Normally, we would face the dearly departed and bow. But in one of the services, we faced the audience and bowed to them. Without any prompting, the Chinese folks at the row just in front of us rose to their feet and bowed to us in return. These were the mother-in-law’s churchmates who conducted that service: her pastor, an interpreter, some prayer warriors.
I wish you were there. You can feel the shared sense of loss, the grief mixed with gratitude, the palpable richness of Chinese tradition. It can very well be a poignant scene in a Mano Po movie.
Those steeped in Western culture may find this quaint at best, archaic at worst. But in bowing, we feel the surge of bittersweet emotions: affection, sadness, bonding, nostalgia, solemnity, regrets. The bow speaks what eulogies and condolence cards cannot.
This beautiful bow was an advance echo of the Bow we will all render someday.
On that day, everyone – yes, including you and me, regardless of religious affiliation, spiritual inclination, or lack thereof – will bow to One who died for our sins, rose from the dead, ascended to Heaven, and now exalted with a name above all names. “[At] the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” (Philippians 2:9-11).
The question will be: at that Bow, what emotions will flood us? I do hope and pray that we will be engulfed with joy and worship, not with terror and rebellion.
Then again, why not bow before the Lord starting now? Oh come let us adore Him!
#christmas #bow #chinese #reflection
You may have heard of this strategy: when you want to extract information from someone, play dumb. That will make the other person feel so superior to you that he will flaunt his superiority by telling you more than what he would otherwise do.
But here’s my concern. If you keep playing dumb, people may think you ARE dumb. And that will backfire on your personal branding.
Sure, I will concede there will be times when it will be wiser to act dumb. For example, the other person is “teaching” you something that you know is wrong. But you don’t want to correct him lest you may make him feel like a fool or you come across as a know-it-all.
That is why if you must play dumb, do it sparingly. You don’t want a boss to say “No, I won’t promote Nelson. I have to keep spoon-feeding him. He’s dumb.”
What’s more, what if you play dumb to people and they somehow realize it’s all an act? Then you will be seen as manipulative and therefore, untrustworthy.
So what can you do? It is to play the student. You don’t have to put on a goofy mask to say “I’m curious. What is the…?” I tried it on people and I have never been put down. In fact, most folks delight being a mentor or instructor for a while.
And if the other person DOES put you down (“Four years of engineering school and you don’t know?”), well, that’s their attitude problem. But when you get to know what they know, guess who will have the last laugh?
So in general, don’t play dumb. Play smart by being genuinely inquisitive. If you are groping to understand something (or someone), that does not necessarily mean a basement IQ. Rather, it speaks of a hungry intellect and a humble spirit.
And people will admire you for it… if they’re not dumb.
#playdumb #dumb #conversation #learning #careercoach #careerstrategy #intelligence
If you have noticed that I have not been posting as much lately, it’s because I have been pursuing certification as a professional coach. That took a lot of my time and energy.
It’s all worth it!
Grateful to God and the amazing instructors at the Coach Masters Academy (CMA) for this certification. It also comes with a badge along with this description:
This badge is awarded to those who have acquired the transformative coaching skill to create a perspective shift at the Professional Level. The earner has demonstrated knowledge and proficient application of the transformative principles to enable people to draw out their insights and learning and move them forward into action. Earner shows a commitment to ethical standards and has demonstrated a good degree of competence to inspire positive change.
But wait! There’s more!
I’m moving forward to take CMA’s Advanced Training. I always believe in investing in myself so I can give the maximum value to the people I work with.
I would appreciate your prayers. And if there’s anything I can do to help you, please drop me a line nelsontdy.com@gmail.com.
For now, woo hoo!
In less than two hours, I would be turning 60.
Wow. I never thought I would reach this far. I have tasted what 40 and 50 felt like, and I can tell you each milestone has its own flavor.
As I write this, I am sitting in our dining room, in solitude, feeling the weight of my years. Time continues to march on inexorably. Ever the pensive introvert, I like to tease “Öh, I’m old! I’m ancient!” I would have added “I’m decrepit” but that would be laying it a bit thick.
Besides, I thank God for my relatively good health. By His grace, my worst enemy is allergic rhinitis. I still have my mental faculties. And I thank God for giving me a loving, faithful co-pilgrim in Lucy as we saunter into the sunset.
I tend to gravitate to what Jacob said to Pharaoh, “My years have been few and difficult, and they do not equal the years of the pilgrimage of my fathers” (Genesis 47:9).
In my six decades feeling the dust of this earth, I had my share of ups and downs… mostly downs. I remember the things I have said and wish I have not, the things I didn’t do and wish I did. I remember the valley of tears which seem to be more than the mountaintops of ecstasy.
But I am still here. Another thing Jacob said, this time on his deathbed, came to mind. Genesis 48:15 says in part, “the God who has been my shepherd all my life to this day.”
I draw great comfort that Jacob lamented that with longevity comes burden and there were times it seemed that God abandoned him to his own devices. But as the curtain closed for the last time, he was filled with serene gratitude that God – his shepherd – was with him all along.
Every. Single. Day.
Tomorrow, as they say, is the first day of the rest of my life. I continue to fill my mind with learning. I continue to dedicate my writing and speaking gifts to the Lord. I continue to share hard-knock wisdom to whoever wishes to listen.
Will I see my own curtain close two years from now? Ten? Twenty? Thirty? Mortality tends to freeze you and reassess everything. But what counts is that each day is travelled with the Shepherd. That, alone, is worth the journey I call life.
Such is the hope we have when we put ourselves at the loving hand of Jesus, the Good Shepherd. I do hope you will taste the same blessing.
December 26, 2022
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