In the first post, we talked about being more specific about your fear. For example, if you fear being rejected, a little self-reflection may reveal that what you are really afraid of is feeling useless or unwanted.

Now that you have identified the “root fear”, you have crystallized what to work on. Remember, you cannot fight an enemy you cannot define. Here are three ways how to neutralize the root fear or at least significantly diminish its power over you.

The first is the true / not true method. In the example of rejection, the root fear is being treated as no good, worthless, useless, incompetent, stupid, and so on.

Now challenge that perception. Is that necessarily true? When someone rejects you, does that mean you are no good? Maybe you were turned down on a job application because the recruiter thinks you lack the skills or experience. But does that mean you are a bad person? No, your worth as a person remains intact. Does that mean you are incompetent? No, because you can point to other skills and accomplishments you can be proud of.

The second is the reframe method. It means seeing something from a different point of view.

For example, you are afraid of public speaking. What makes public speaking fearful for you? It may be that what you are really afraid of is looking like a fool if you fail to answer questions from the audience. But is it really so? If you fail to answer that question, does that make you an idiot? No, you simply don’t have the answer right now.

Instead of looking at public speaking as a torture chamber, look forward to it as an opportunity to express your ideas better. If you had difficulty answering a question, then you learn to anticipate questions and gather answers at your fingertips.

The third is the worst-case scenario. Going back to the fear of public speaking, imagine you sucked big-time in your speech. What is the worst that can happen? People will think unfavorable about you. Nobody would ever want to listen to you again. Your career as a public speaker is kaput.

Ok. Now what can you do to reverse that negative perception? Notice that you faced your worst fear in the face and then thought, “It’s not the end of the world after all.”

Here’s the good news. According to an article by the Huffington Post, 85% of what we worry about never happens. And of the 15%, people said that when what they feared about actually happened, it was not as bad as they feared. What’s more, they discovered that they can cope better than they thought.

So there you have it. What is the root fear to be defanged? Use the true / not true method. Reframe the situation. Ask what’s the worst that can happen and chances are – 85% of the time – it won’t.

Next we will talk of the second way to be fearless: develop an action plan.