There was a time when Lucy and I take our Sunday breakfast with the menu being sunny-side up, daing na bangus… and newspapers. Yes, we used to eat in silence as we poured through opinion columns.
Later, I realized how our meal became a dead spot, so we both agreed to set the newspapers aside and chat as we ate. We would talk about how a dear friend is doing, an insight from our quiet times, plans for the upcoming week, and so on.
Once, Lucy asked me “I wonder what’s on the news today?” I quipped, “You’re not missing anything. Duterte is still president.” We had a good laugh from this.
Don’t forget to adorn your talk with endearment. For example, do you use pet names? Maybe it’s Babe, Boo, Pooh Bear, or Snoogie Woogens. Me, I’m happy with calling Lucy “love” and she calls me “hon.” I would end my texts to her with “lov u” and she with emoticons. The moment a spouse calls the other hoy!, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know something is wrong.
When a couple has kids, I don’t recommend the husband calling the wife “Mama” and the wife calling the husband “Daddy.” It may be a Filipino thing, but I still remember the wry expression on my mentor’s face when he told me, “How can you make love to a Mama?”
This is excerpted from my article The Wall written for FamilyWise Asia. See the original here http://www.familywiseasia.com/the-wall/
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