productivity is not always activity

Every once in a while, Lucy and I would take breakfast together and I’m usually the one who finishes my plate first. Lucy would tell me, “You can go ahead and do what you need to do next, so that you can be productive.”

Chances are, I stay at that breakfast table and linger on a few more minutes.  Why? Because I want to share my presence with her, and hers with me. 

Can one say that during those minutes, when I was literally doing nothing, that I was being unproductive?

Here’s the thing:  productivity is not always activity. One can be productive by being with the person you love. In those silent yet tender moments, the marriage bond is being strengthened, maybe even being repaired in unseen areas. To spouses whose love language is time, this gesture is pure gold. 

Conversely, beware of equating activity with productivity. We know that at the workplace: you can be busy, yet be busy with the wrong things. Similarly, being busy at the expense of quality time with your spouse is counter-productive.

​So the next time your spouse – bless his or her soul – grants you permission to leave and do something else, stay put. There will always be work waiting for you, but the happiness of your beloved cannot wait.