One thing I observed when you start “adulting” is that you have to figure out how life works. In school, you were pretty much told what to do: study these subjects, show up on these class schedules, observe these norms of acceptable behavior and so on. If you follow the rules, you will get your diploma.
The problem begins when you enter the “real world” and rules don’t exactly come in a silver platter. I suspect this is the major reason why many young people feel kind of lost, depressed or anxious. They need principles to guide them through this VUCA world.
Doreen Cooper’s book, #Adulting: 5 Secrets to Embracing Change in Life & Career, provides those principles. Each of those “5 Secrets” correspond to a major area of life: career, network, money, self-development and productivity.
Doreen defines her life purpose as empowering professionals by helping them build knowledge and skill, thereby producing greater success in life and work. Among her specialties are learning facilitation, personal branding and communications strategy. Through this book, she adds another component: practical wisdom.
The value of #Adulting is that it is written from the crucible of struggle and frustration. This is no rah-rah, shallow self-help book. Doreen made the gutsy move of leaving a secure job in McKinsey to become a “solo-preneur” in the training business.
Through sheer dint, Doreen was able to establish a name for herself and conducted workshops for well-known corporations and organizations. She has garnered impressive credentials such as:
- Being recognized by Salt & Light Ventures as the highest rated speaker for in-house training sessions in 2018.
- Being voted as one of the Top 100 Filipinos to follow in Linkedin in 2019.
- Attaining Distinguished Toastmaster (DTM) status in 2020. Toastmasters is a global organization dedicated to help people become better public speakers and leaders. DTM is the highest rank conferred on a Toastmaster member.
Along the way, she wished for people who would tell her what she needed to know, but didn’t. That poignant quality lingers in her writing, whereby you sense “I am sharing what I know so you don’t have to struggle as I did.”
The value of #Adulting is that it is written from the crucible of struggle and frustration. This is no rah-rah, shallow self-help book. Doreen made the gutsy move of leaving a secure job in McKinsey to become a “solo-preneur” in the training business.
Through her honest vulnerability and charming feistiness, she has earned the right to be heard or, in this case, read to the last page of her book. All right, here are the 5 Secrets…. not!
I won’t give the crown jewels away, but I can tell you that each principle, if properly pursued, will increase your chances of success. This is where Doreen delivers the goods. #Adulting comes with “Book Bonus” sections where you plan out how to practice what you’ve just read. They include a personal SWOT analysis, a savings plan, a book reading plan, even a decluttering plan! It is the next best thing to hire her as your life coach.
Is #Adulting well worth the book price and reading time? You bet. If this baby boomer picked up some new stuff, how much more the young people who, as I described at the start of this review, are starving for guidance? Doreen’s book is packed with it.
Note: The book is self-published. To get a copy of #Adulting: Secrets to Embracing Change in Life & Career, email her at superwithcooper@gmail.com
For more about Doreen, check out her profile https://www.linkedin.com/in/doreencooper/ and her website https://www.doreencooper.net/
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From my experience, here are a few pitfalls in problem-solving:
- Not identifying the correct problem.
- Being distracted by the by-product or side issue of the real problem.
- Deciding on an easy-to-do solution which does not really address the problem.
Consider this real-life example:
We make carton boards that require surfaces of paper being glued to each other. One day, we had problems of poor gluing: the paper layers kept separating. The presenter gave the usual fishbone: man, machine, materials, methods, and so on. He said that the root cause was that the nozzles (which discharges the glue onto the paper) kept on clogging. Therefore, preventive action was to keep the nozzles clean.
But the true root cause was that the machine was not formulating the glue properly. The glue became too viscous, thereby clogging the nozzles. The true solution was to open up the machine and painstakingly test every mechanism.
True enough, we found some defective sensors and replaced them. The machine weighed and mixed the ingredients according to an approved recipe. Sure, we still had to clean the nozzles. But if we didn’t address the machine, clogging will soon recur. We will have an endless (not to mention, expensive) cycle of clog-shutdown-and-clean, clog-shutdown-and-clean. Preventive action was to have regular audits of the gluing machine.
The presenter (1) missed the real problem (saying it lies with the nozzles), (2) distracted by the by-product of the problem (the clogged nozzles) and (3) deciding on a solution because it was the easiest to do (clean the nozzles).
Here’s a guide for solution-checking:
How do I know this is the real problem? Answer: If you believe you have identified the problem and applied the solution, but the problem recurs, then it means you have attacked the symptom but not the disease.
How do I know I have covered all grounds? Answers: Look at the whole process. Do not assume. Always verify. Ask the “what if’s”.
Would my analysis and conclusion violate any logic, such as non-sequitors or false dichotomy? Tip: Have a peer (or better, SME) critique your work.
We all heard that the journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. But that is not enough. That first step must be in the correct direction and that we do not stray along the way. Problem-solving is like that. Define the right problem and don’t stray from the process. Then you will reach your destination: a headache-free environment.
Note: This article is excerpted from my signature module Creating a Problem-Solving Culture, which seeks to empower both leaders and followers tap their reservoir of creativity and wisdom. For queries, please feel free to message me.
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It seems every office has the resident gossiper who flitters from cubicle to cubicle spreading tidbits of information.
What do you do?
A wise friend gave me a piece of advice which spared me from a lot of potential trouble: Don’t play switchboard.
Resist the lure of false intimacy. We know it’s wrong. But why does gossip feel so goooood? Because it creates the illusion that we belong to an inner, privileged circle. Gossipers approach you with a pretext of, “I know I shouldn’t be telling you this, but since you’re my friend…”
If we are not getting any juicy morsels from the grapevine, then we feel like outsiders. We are simply not “in.” Hence, rather than coping with an awkward feeling of rejection, we are likely to open our ears to the switchboard.
It works both ways. We want to please other people, so we release rumors of our own. The sad part is that if we succumb to this temptation, we have sacrificed our integrity on the altar of fickle popularity. Worse, we will be branded as someone who can’t keep a secret. Our bosses will think twice before entrusting us with sensitive information.
The best antidote is to be secure in yourself such that if you want friendships, it has to be based on integrity and on mutual trust. If they won’t like you because you clam up on office secrets, well, that’s their problem.
Direct the gossiper to the person he is talking about. Suppose someone comes to you and begins to gripe or whine about somebody else (usually the boss). Rather than gasp, “Really? He did that?” and spread the tale around with embellishments of your own, nip it in the bud.
When you smell a gossip brewing, don’t let the tattler drone on before you suggest, “That sounds serious. Why don’t you bring the matter directly to that person?” If the gossiper is not comfortable with the idea, offer to accompany him to see the source of his problems. (Warning: Be sure he is not manipulating you to fight his battles for him.) If the gossiper still refuses, then decline to hear more from him.
At the very least, act in self-preservation. Those whom you consider as friends but keep feeding you with gossip are not really your friends at all. What is to prevent them from gossiping to others about you?
Conversely, if you are talking against somebody behind his back, your listener may be thinking “Hmmm… and I wonder what you are saying about me behind my back?” Brought to its logical conclusion, trust is gone, paranoia and cynicism reign, and teamwork goes down the tubes.
Being trusted is one of the prime requisites for career success. But you cannot do that by being a tattle-tale. So take the long view and the high road. Don’t entertain gossip and don’t pass on gossip yourself.
The switchboard stops with you. This week.
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How could a tender shoot burst out of solid concrete? It actually didn’t. But if we find ourselves in a difficult situation, it teaches us three valuable lessons.
First, bloom where we are planted.
Can you imagine the shoot moaning, “How I wish I were planted in a lush field instead”? Of course, it can’t do that. But it still kept on growing. It had to. That’s how botany works.
If you can improve your situation, then by all means do so. But if you can’t for now, then the best response is to accept your circumstances and keep on growing. Decide never to curl up and die. Instead, strive to make the best of what is happening to you. That’s how life works.
Here’s how.
Second, grow through the cracks.
A closer look shows that the concrete block had some fissures packed with dirt. Somehow a seed found its way into the dirt and germinated. Drawn to the sunlight, the shoot eventually peeked out of the crack and pushed its leaves outward.
You may be in a hard place, but there may be cracks of opportunity. Look for those cracks, then dig in and start growing. For example, your boss made a passing mention about a chronic problem in the organization. Begin tinkering with the solution. Or you see a possible improvement in the business process. While it may be a sliver of change, the benefits may accrue handsomely over time. Who knows where that small start will lead you to?
Third, the harder the place, the more beautiful the sight.
The photo is real. I was making my rounds at work when the shoot stopped me in my tracks. It seemed to be in an act of defiance: even on a piece of rock, I will flourish! The message took my breath away.
I know someone who had a falling out with his boss. So the boss dumped him in Corporate Siberia. For two shameful years, he was stuck to his desk with nothing much to do. His peers felt sorry for him whenever they passed by. Yet he did not whine, play politics, and most of all, resign.
But whatever ad hoc tasks he was given, he gave them his very best. He got the last laugh, however, when that boss retired. The new boss liked his attitude and gave him new assignments. Like the shoot, his career blossomed. He reaped the respect and admiration of his colleagues.
Conclusion. Look at the photo again and see yourself in the shoot. Success is more about who you are rather than where you are. Bloom where you are.
Grow through the cracks of opportunity. And look forward to become a sight to behold.
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It’s not necessarily true that people are an organization’s greatest assets. If that were true, the organization with the biggest head count would automatically win.
Your real assets are people who know how to solve problems… and solve them better than your competitors!
When you think about it, practically every business issue is a problem to be solved. It can be about hiring talent, increasing sales, maximizing cash flow, reducing defects, or leading innovation.
Usually, the problem-solver is the executive, the manager, the technology supplier, or the consultant.
But what if everyone in that organization pitches in?
What if the machine operator, the lobby receptionist, or the accounting clerk can see the problem with fresh eyes and offer solutions that no one has thought of before? Instead of people doing the same old thing or, worse, saying something can’t be done, they are saying
“We can do it. Here’s how…”
Early when I took over my first plant, I had this maintenance technician who came to me and said, “Sir Nelson, we have a problem in Machine X”. Then he described the problem, paused, and waited for me to give him the answer from Mount Sinai.
Instead, I replied, “So?”
I think he was a bit taken aback. As he kept on explaining, I kept pushing back with “So?” At some point, he ran out of words about the problem and began drifting to solutions. “Maybe, Sir, we should try out…”
I asked him, “That’s a good idea. What else can we do?” As the technician expressed his ideas, I kept encouraging him with “What else?” until I am satisfied. Finally, I patted him on the shoulder and said, “Good! Go ahead!”
After that first encounter, whenever that technician came to me with a problem, he also brought along recommendations.
Guess what? Five years later, he has been promoted to Production Head. When an operator went to him with a technical problem, he replied “So what do you think can be done?”
Hmmm… sounds familiar.
If I were to solve every problem at the plant, I would quickly burn out. And that’s assuming I have all the answers! But you don’t need to have all the answers. You need to know where to find the best answers.
I believe that most people have great ideas just waiting to come out. Therefore, an often overlooked role of the leader is to help his followers come up with solutions better than his.
Within an industry, it is likely that the players make commodity products, have access to roughly the same technology, and beat each other on price and promotions. If you are one of those players, you will want to be different, innovative, or cost-efficient. In today’s red-ocean environment, a can-do workforce is your true competitive advantage.
In the end, it’s about having people to solve problems, rather than solving them all by yourself. Now that’s a solution worth pursuing!
Note: This article is excerpted from my signature module Creating a Problem-Solving Culture, which seeks to empower both leaders and followers tap their reservoir of creativity and wisdom. For queries, please feel free to message me.
Photo by Olav Ahrens Røtne on Unsplash
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Remember Frozen? Time was when people were belting Let It Go, be it off-key videoke or professional cover. But I would disagree with Queen Elsa. There are things we really can’t let go.
Take our past, for instance. Motivational speakers and counselors would tell us to “let go” of what we don’t like about our personal histories.
Has someone hurt us? Let it go.
Are we regretting over a certain career choice? Let it go.
Did we lose our shirt because the pandemic ruined our business? Let it go.
But we really cannot let them go, because our present flows from our past. We are where we are now due to a complex flux of choice and circumstances. We cannot escape cause and effect. Unless we have a time machine and start over, the past won’t let us go.
We still wince from the hurt.
We’re still unhappy at work.
We’re still broke.
So what do we do? Let me suggest three steps.
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- Make peace with your yesterday.
Since we can’t let go of our past, we will have to live with our past. The real question is how? With blessing or bitterness? With gratitude or grumbling? With redemption or regret?
In my book Regret No More, I teach that we make a peace pact with ourselves. Think of it as being at war with guilt, anxiety, or sorrow. The irony is that we raise these enemies within ourselves, for example, the inner critic. We declare a cessation of hostilities. We may even write down a literal treaty, if we want to.
The next time we sense the enemy creeping back, we hold up the treaty and tell the negative emotion “Hold it right there. This says you will stop.” Then imagine the enemy, shamed, slinking away.
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- Become a better person today.
We are not the same people we were five, ten, or twenty years ago. That’s because life continues to shape our personalities, perceptions and priorities. Ideally, we grow in love and wisdom as the years roll by. Yes, that includes the past.
Therefore, leverage the past for your maturity.
Did the hurt deepen your empathy?
Has the career mistake revealed what you really want in life?
Will the failed business train you how to bounce back?
There are priceless lessons that can be learned only through the college of hard knocks. Don’t waste the tuition.
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- Create an exciting tomorrow.
We cannot change what happened before. But we can decide what happens next. So take the best pieces of your past and match them with the opportunities of the present.
The hurt can open doors to unparalleled service.
The career mistake may be a detour that leads you to your true calling.
The failed venture will remind you that purpose is more important than profit.
It is not really true that January 1st is New Year’s Day. Every morning heralds the next 365 days of your life. As we would do with the literal January 1st, be brimming with hope.
Dream again. Dream big. Take the calculated risk. Explore the untrodden path. Forge strong relationships. In so doing, you have made the past your friend.
You really cannot let it go. But you have successfully lived with it.
God bless you.
This article was first published on LinkedIn in two parts. Connect with me for the latest articles.
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Want to discover an insight about happiness that will only cost you forty pesos?
Don’t worry. Half of that amount will go back to you. No, I won’t be getting the other half.
Here’s the thing: Spend twenty pesos to buy your favorite ice cream and eat it. Feels heavenly, right? Especially if it’s chocolate.
Now get another twenty pesos. Only this time, use it for an act of kindness to a total stranger. For example, when you see a street kid selling sampaguita flowers, buy all his stock. Then let him keep the flowers so he can sell them to someone else.
Guess which one will put a wider smile on your face?
That’s right.
The insight is that happiness is a by-product.
Chase happiness itself and it will elude you. Do something meaningful for others and happiness will embrace you.
Are you groaning (again) at the prospect of going to work? Is your job something you are enduring rather than enjoying? Perhaps your mantra is “If only I have the right job, I will be happy.”
This is the paradox of job happiness.
Don’t expect your job to make you happy. Rather, do your job to give value to others and happiness will follow.
Focus on excellence and satisfaction will well up within you.
Go an extra mile for your boss or client and his delight will be yours as well.
Learn skills beyond your job description and you will unleash the thrill of exploration.
Today, survey your workplace with a fresh pair of eyes. There is a gold mine of joy waiting for you. You just need to know where to dig. Emotional treasures will soon yield themselves to you.
This article was first published onLinkedIn. Connect with me for the latest articles.
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He could have lost me as a customer. But instead, he won me over as a follower.
Kyle (not his real name) was offering training videos which I can watch on-line for a modest fee. So I gave one a try and enjoyed the learning… until the video kept on buffering in the middle. It remained stuck half-way no matter how many times I refreshed my device.
I told him of my frustration through private messaging. From the seen icon, I knew he read my complaint. He could have ignored me. Worse, he could have blamed my device or internet connection. Instead, he did something I never thought he would. He gave me a link through which I can download that video… free!
If Kyle were to offer me another product, would I buy from him again? You bet! That’s because Kyle did not see me as a peso sign, but as a person. He took his mission to help seriously. In short, he cared.
The paradigm is that, in selling, don’t look for customers. Create followers who will buy from you even when there is a better deal elsewhere. Here are three principles to do just that.
Don’t: Expect Loyalty.
Do: Earn loyalty.
When I was in sales and marketing, I used to tell my people: “It’s easy to get the first sale. The challenge is to get the repeat order.”
Loyalty is rarely bestowed upon you when your product or service is at par with your competitors. That’s why the passive order-taker will usually resort to gimmicks such as discounts and promos. The superior tactic is to do something pro-active and unexpected that touches the customer’s heart. Create an emotional bond with your client that your competitor will find hard to dislodge.
Don’t: Keep your customers waiting.
Do: Keep your followers raving.
A seen zone is a kill zone for future business. What if Kyle had seen my PM’s complaint and ignored it? I would have lost all appetite to buy from him again. But when he gave me that link, that was a WOW! moment for me.
It wasn’t about the video. It was about trust. He took a risk that I won’t spread that video around and hurt his future sales. I won’t, of course, but I felt honored which I will happily reciprocate by buying from him again.
Don’t: Think one-time.
Do: Think big-picture.
Imagine again had Kyle thought like these:
- I’m too busy to attend to it.
- What’s one dissatisfied customer? I have plenty of others.
- If I made it up to Nelson, it would cost me more than what I earn.
A popular statistic, attributed to Coca Cola in the 1980’s, says that a happy customer will tell three people, but an unhappy customer will tell ten. That’s nothing compared with today’s social media. Had I ranted about the bogged-down video in my Facebook, Kyle would have lost not just me, but my 1,000+ friends.
Conversely, that downloadable video was a modest investment that not only rewarded him with my wholehearted testimonial, but my interested peers as well.
With buyers bombarded by all sorts of offers and deals through digital channels, you need to stand out. When you do something wonderful and unexpected, you will make them ask you “What else do you have?”
This article was first published on LinkedIn. Connect with me for the latest articles.
Photo by Sebastian Hermann, Unsplash
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September 1, 2020
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